On the snowy night of January 8th in 1997. I was awoken by my father and told I was going to Granny’s house. Well, when my dad dropped me off, I remember asking Granny where my parents were going. My mother was in labor, and they were headed to the hospital. We lived only about 15 mins away from the hospital, but by the time my mother got there my brother was already crowning and ready to make is arrival.
My brother Alan was born around mid-night. He was 9lbs 1ounce, and 21 inches long. He was a big boy, but he was not healthy. He had trouble breathing as soon as he was born. As my small-town hospital does not have a NICU and still does not, they were not equipped for taking care of babies that were as sick as Alan was at the time of birth. They do have some equipment now they still would not have the proper equipment and knowledge to take care of Alan if he was born today. Mom said she remembers the nurses telling her that as long as they are not talking about transporting to Dallas that he was in the clear and everything was going well, just after the nurse got out the words the doctor came in and confirmed her worst fears. They were going to transfer him to Dallas.
Back outside I remember sitting in the car with Granny and looking at the hospital parking lot lights and seeing SNOW! Oh, I was so excited, my baby brother was here, and it was finally snowing in Texas. However, my excitement was short lived. When we got into the waiting room, I was ready to see my dad, and for him to take me back to see my mom and Alan. But when dad came out, he was in a rush, he said something to my Grandma and came over to me and gave me the biggest tightest hug he had ever given me, and the look in his eyes was pure terror.
My father very rarely shows his emotions, so, seeing any emotion on his face let alone fear is alarming. He told me he loved me and hugged me like that was the last time he was going to see me. As a child I was so confused, as an adult I would have asked questions as soon as dad looked at me, but I was only 6 years old. Facial ques were not something I picked up on so quickly. When I finally saw my mom, I asked her where my brother was and she said he was really sick, and that they had to take him to a better hospital.
They normally would care-flight someone to that better hospital via helicopter weather permitting. This time it was snowing so hard they could not take off from where they are based. The alternative was to fix wing flight him to Dallas. In order to do that they had to put Alan in an ambulance and shuttle him to our small airport here. Dad wasn’t able to fit in the ambulance with all the equipment and the doctors so, Grandma took him to the airport. Dad says he remembers telling her that the plane would NOT wait for him, they were going to take off with or without him. As long as Alan was in there they were taking off. She finally picked up the pace and made it to the airport in time for dad to board and off they went. Mom was quick to follow to the hospital Dallas, she left shortly after my father and brother did. She arrived about 3 hours later. Dad says he called the hospital to let her know they were there and settled in, but he was met with the operator telling him there was no patient by that name admitted to the hospital. He argued with the operator telling her my mom had to be there she just had a baby. All to see my mother walk in the doors of the Hospital in Dallas.
In my childhood things never really went as planned. The plan for that night was supposed to be that after Alan was born, I would go home with Granny, and the next day I would go visit in the hospital or see them at home. Well, that’s not how things went. I went home with my aunt Lisa. I was thrilled I got to spend the night with my cousins! Finally, a sleepover during the week. Well, that one night turned into about 42 nights. Alan stayed in the hospital in Dallas for about 6 weeks. The entire time Alan was in the hospital I stayed with Aunt Lisa and Uncle Robert. I think we visited maybe twice when they were in the hospital, but that was just it a visit, we went back to their house.
Ever remember having a mental breakdown in the bathroom in kindergarten? I did. Lisa, or Robert would take me to school every day, and that one morning had been a rough morning for me. I went into the bathroom and while in the stall I started sobbing uncontrollably, talking to myself saying how I just wanted my mommy and daddy. I missed them so much. I wanted to hug them and see them again. I don’t really know how long I was in there, but it was long enough, and I was crying loud enough I caught the attention of some middle school girls. Those three or four girls made an impact on me that I will never forget. They may have though they were just helping a little girl feel better after a rough morning, but they did more than that! They invited me to sit at their table with them that morning and asked me about my brother and just really helped me that morning.
The entire thing was really traumatic for me. I was used to having my mom and dad every night at home. Then out of nowhere, I no longer had that stability. The rug had been not only pulled but ripped out from under me. I had to adapt to a new normal. Although I would get to talk to my parents on the phone it still is not the same as seeing them. Around middle to the end of February that year they finally came home. Things would be normal again. With my life? Ha nothing really is never normal.
Absolution Ascent Anchor 